sierrareireiko:

I guess you could say that, alike the changing of the seasons and rolling of the tides, developing an affection for him was inevitable. 

It was cold, the morning we first met. It was six am when I heard his car pull up, and I clearly recall smelling the alcohol on both of our breaths; his rambling and my own about nothing at all; the trance softly fading into the background; reminding myself that it was casual. 

Casually, we continued to converse. Casually, we began having movie nights nearly every night. Casually, I began thinking “I could be so much more for him” when he spoke of his past relationships. Casually, my thoughts began intertwining around him. And before I knew it, it wasn’t so casual anymore. 

And suddenly, I’m here, with my heart fully dedicated to this guy and my mind constantly pestering me about him. I’m here, with my life turned back upright and my vision cleared again. 

There are moments in which he frustrates me above all others, yet they never last for long, and my chest can seemingly explode when I remind myself that “he is mine.” He is my motivation to do well, my reason to continue writing my poetry and painting. Because he finds it beautiful. And he makes me feel secure, and my passions never go unnoticed. 

We spent a night at Tantalus, cooped up in the car, sharing our old favorite bands. That was the night I fell the hardest. Watching him go back in time for a moment as I had the chance to glimpse into his past; to listen to the melodies he once loved. I wish he’d see how every moment, every night, even the most simple of them mean the most to me. 

I wish he’d see how amazing he is, and that the world blurs around me when I’m with him. I wish he’d realize that he IS impacting my life, even if he believes he isn’t good enough.

The future looks so promising with him now a part of it, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather pass these days away with. I love him. Every detail is clear. Every day I’ll breathe them in and hold them close. I know I’ve said it all before, but I’m so damn lucky.